Leaving you, I aren't happy at all...
I played at the usual arcade we always go, alone...
I ate at the usual dessert stall we always go, alone...
But I bought 2 people's share...
I went to our secret hide-out where we always sat to wait for the last bus, alone...
I went to the bus stop where I always wait for you to take the last bus, alone...
I took bus 57 and sat at the very end seat where we always sat, alone...
I told myself over and over again to let go...
But I still sat the bus to your house...
I still bought your favourite dessert...
I waited downstairs for almost an hour considering to go up or not...
I am a coward...
I know if I were to see you I know I will be totally lost...
I thought I could let go...
I thought I could be independent...
But I was wrong...
I know I am dependent on you already...
Though it is just 2months,
I know I had fallen too deep for it already...
I cannot forget I had you to company me to work, wait for me to off work & even brought me supper during my night shift...
I cannot forget I had you lying by my side everyday...
I cannot forget the pain each time we quarrel...
I cannot forget the old you who promise never to leave me alone...
I know our start was very difficult...
We had many obstacles...
We had to be a hidden relationship from your family and our work...
I thought we could bear it through together...
But...I felt I was fighting alone...
I always feel this hidden relationship hurts you alot...
I don't dare to promise you anything...
Just when I can fulfil my promises, I started feeling insecure...
I was fighting for this relationship alone...
You started giving me cold shoulders...
Everyone makes mistakes...
But can't I be forgiven?
The worst mistake I ever did was to inflict injuries to myself which cause you pain and fear...
I apologize...
And I stop my bad habit already...
When I found out about your secret affair, do you know how hurt I was?
My heart was really torn apart...
I thought the cheerful me will never have depression...
For the first time -- I did...
For the first time in my life, I had to go into hospital twice in a week...
I haven't had enough sleep from the day we started...
But I chose not to sleep just to see you a while longer...
Because the time we spent together I never find it enough...
I couldn't even eat when you are not around and knowing you are with her...
I beg you once not to go but you still left...
I don't wish to stress you to choose...
But i can't stop myself from feeling insecure & jealous...
Indeed I lost my confidence...
I am not as pretty as her...
I do not have the figure...
I do not know how to sweet talk...
But what I have is only a sincere heart waiting for you...
My promise to you still stands strong...
You promised to end your affair...
I was overjoyed because you chose me...
You say the one you love is only me...
But, you still can't give up flirting with other girls...
I trust you...
I believe in you...
But I just can't stop the little devil in me to take over...
I was just so afraid of getting burnt...
I let the little devil out...
I hide myself deep down...
I went into coma to escape from the problems...
But now I am awaken...
I put the little devil back to sleep...
I know if the little devil is out, I may cause hurt to you...
I won't hide the fact that for a short period I really wish I can flirt too...
But I told myself NO...
Cause you have already sit into my heart...
I can no longer be the 18year old Kat who used to flirt...
I have changed...
I can only love one person...
I can only have one person...
And that one person is you that I want and that I need...
I feel so stupid to let you go...
I feel so stupid to send you to her...
I feel like an IDIOT!!!
I can't do anything now but cry...
I can't do anything but to wait for your return...
I wanted to pull you back and tell you don't play anymore...
I wanted to tell you come back to me...
But, you told me you are still young...
You wish to play...
You don't believe in love...
You believe we will part one day as there is no eternity...
I know that there is no eternity...
I also don't believe it either...
But if our love is true, shouldn't we give it a try?
Are you willingly to believe or trust me just once?
I will wait...
I will wait for the day you return...
I will let you go & play...
But I hope you can always remember I am still here to wait for your return...